a collective community for her business and lifestyle.
Lady Boss Social
It all started with a vision back in 2016 that included coming together with like-minded female entrepreneurs - so we could all be inspired, learn from each other and connect authentically. Being an entrepreneur isn’t easy and glamorous and can be lonely most of the time unless you’re blessed with a small team! I wanted to unite women and shower them with intimate talks, inspiration, coffee and mimosas!
I seemed to go through life stages and that's how the events in my life always started. I was getting married so after my wedding, I started The Original Wedding Soiree. I was pregnant and then started The Original Mommy Soiree. I was a female entrepreneur, so I started The COCOLILY Social - a creative event for the female entrepreneur in 2016. It was the first of its kind in Ontario and I had something; humbly speaking.
THE COCOLILY SOCIAL was born in Niagara and it turned out to be a great event thanks to all the speakers, vendors and attendees.
The day after the event, I promised my little man that I would take him to play Dinosaur Mini Golf on Clifton Hill and en route, a woman flagged me down asking “Are you Renee” - I hesitated because I wasn’t sure what she wanted lol but I said “Ummm, yes?” and she continued with “I just wanted to personally say thank you for The COCOLILY Social. It was one of the best events I’ve ever attended. It was so inspirational so thank you so much for putting it on.” I don’t know who you were but it was like an angel sending me a sign - if you were that particular woman and you’re reading this - thank you.
That moment made all the sleepless nights disappear. So many incredible women were telling me to bring it to Toronto. I had momentum and was starting a trend in boutique-style events for the lady boss. But sadly in my personal life, I had too much going on. I was swimming in the red on the budget spreadsheet from venue costs in Niagara; having to take out loans (please always read the contracts no matter how excited you are and if you have a partner that says she will stick with you no matter what, make sure you get that in writing so you're not stuck footing the entire debt. Actions speak louder than words).
Aside from the financial loss (let’s just say enough to buy a car!), I was about to lose my mom in May 2016 - two weeks after the event. She was my rock and sadly had been battling cancer for seven years and it was a roller coaster because we didn't know how much time we actually had with her. She fought so hard and so long but finally it caught up to her. The colon cancer started to spread to the lungs and then once it got to the brain, there was nothing that could be done.
I remember I was at a crossroads during the planning of The COCOLILY Social. I asked my mom 'what should I do? plan it, produce it, either way I'm losing the money or just cancel it?' She told me to do it, with style and grace and go out with a bang. I took her advice but wished that she told me to cancel it so I could've spent all my time with her. I wish I told her how I really felt because I thought she wanted to be alone and didn’t want me around so I sunk into the event when all I wanted was to snuggle in bed with her and watch murder mysteries!
I was a single mom at the time with no siblings and also taking care of my mom while trying to run the business and the household. I was running on adrenaline at that point. I was blessed to be by her side at the hospice every day following that event (I had to admit her in May as it was too difficult for me to lift her to the bathroom on my own :( - and I even slept there with my little munchkin in her room. I was even more blessed to be by her side, holding her hand, as she took her last breath. That moment in time will be forever etched in my brain and I get tears just thinking about it.
I did develop PTSD and for years felt lost. I remained strong on the outside for my son because he needed me but I felt so alone. She left me at her age of 58 - I still needed her and I still need her today. Events just left a bad taste in my mouth and I was done. I couldn't stomach thinking of doing an event :(
Years later of the grief process and finding myself again, I wanted to put something together to inspire and celebrate the female entrepreneur, especially these days when we need support/community more than ever...keeping all workshops real and actual useful inspiration that they can use. Every speaker has been hand-selected for LADY BOSS SOCIAL 2021 along with carefully curating topics with the powerhouse of women that I am blessed to have a part of the community.
Why did I write that and open myself up? Because I believe in being real, raw and authentic. And sometimes telling your story (entrepreneurship, grief, mommyhood, etc.) might help someone else. Those are meant to be in your life, will be in your life and if someone doesn't ‘get you’, that's ok. They are not meant to be on your journey.
And yes, others came along after plucking away and ideas were taken as their own (Collectives popping up, Ateliers everywhere, lady boss events) but there’s nothing we can do about that right? Imitation is the best form of flattery? Someone will come along and copy something you’ve tried to build because they have more time or more money and we just have to learn to let it go and do our best in our own style. Like Dory said “Just keep swimming.”
That’s why I’m such a huge advocate of community over competition because I’ve been burnt before, back-stabbed, be-friended just to be used in the end for their greater good (introducing them to a high-profile contact and then they disappear). We as women, should be supporting each other and not breaking each other down. I’d rather reach out to like-minded businesses aka competition as they call it, and work together. And that’s another reason as to why LADY BOSS SOCIAL is here. I want to continue building a community that supports each other and through the virtual workshops, tea talks/coffee x conversation, has a chance to be themselves, ask questions, connect and collaborate.
I truly hope you will join us in January 2021 and once the world heals, we can meet in-person and celebrate over a Champagne Brunch!